In our recent webinar held last month, insights on helping families navigate the digital landscape were shared by the Director of Technology at the American School in Japan, Warren Apel. This session focused on finding a healthy balance with screens and devices for children, offering practical strategies for establishing household rules and creating tech-free zones. Participants left with actionable plans to promote mindful technology use, ensuring that screen time becomes a positive aspect of family life. 

Below, you’ll find a summary of the most important points to assist you in fostering balanced digital habits for your children, along with a collection of frequently asked questions that arose during the webinar. At the end of this article, you will also find the downloadable PDF version summarizing the key points, which you can share with others. 

Key Points

Active vs. Passive Screen Use: It's important to differentiate between active (e.g., creating, engaging) and passive (e.g., watching, scrolling) screen use. Active screen use tends to have more positive outcomes, while passive use can lead to negative mental health impacts like anxiety and moodiness.

Mentor Parenting Mindset: Parents should adopt a middle-ground approach called “mentor parenting”. Mentor parents guide children in making good choices about technology use rather than limiting or enabling screen time. Mentor parents foster discussions, encourage intentional use, and model positive behavior.

Family Technology Agreements: A written family technology agreement helps everyone stay accountable. This can include rules for no devices at meals or in bedrooms and setting specific time limits for certain activities.

Screen Time for Young Children: Babies under 18 months should only use screens for video calls with family, and toddlers should engage in screen time with a parent present. Passive screen time, such as YouTube, should be carefully monitored to avoid inappropriate recommendations.

Boredom and Intentional Use: Encourage children to embrace boredom instead of immediately turning to devices. Being bored stimulates creativity and problem-solving, which is essential for mental development.

Sleep and Technology: Screens should be removed from bedrooms, and activities that stimulate the brain, such as fast-paced games, should be avoided before bed. Ensuring enough sleep, especially for teenagers, is crucial as they often sacrifice sleep for extra screen time.

Modeling Good Behavior: Parents should model the behavior they expect, such as limiting their phone use during family time or meal times. Everyone in the household should practice intentional use.

Eye Strain and Health: The 20-20-20 rule (looking at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds every 20 minutes) helps reduce eye strain from screen use.

Social Media and Children: Parents should discuss the emotional impact of social media with their children. Passive consumption can lead to feelings of insecurity, especially for girls.

Multitasking Myth: Children should be encouraged to focus on one task at a time rather than trying to multitask, as it significantly reduces productivity.

FAQ for Parents on Screen Time and Digital Wellness

1. What’s the difference between active and passive screen time?
Active screen time involves creating, interacting, and engaging, such as writing or making music. Passive screen time is watching or scrolling without much interaction, like watching YouTube or TV. Active screen time tends to affect children’s mental health positively.

2. How can I help my child manage their screen time?
You can set screen time limits through discussions rather than just enforcing them. Use features like the screen time apps on Apple or Android to monitor usage and have regular family check-ins to discuss how your child uses their devices.

3. Should I restrict my toddler’s screen time?
Screens should only be used for video calls with family members for children under 18 months. After 18 months, screen time should always involve an adult, such as watching videos together or playing educational games.

4. How do I create a family technology agreement?
Start by having a family meeting where everyone shares their thoughts on screen time. Write down agreed rules, such as no phones during meals or after 8 PM, and discuss how these apply to everyone. You can use pre-made templates from resources like Common Sense Media.

5. How can I be a good role model for my kids regarding technology use?
Model intentional use by setting goals for yourself, like no phones at the dinner table or putting your phone down during family time. If you want your children to be mindful, you need to follow the same rules.

6. What can I do to prevent eye strain for my children?
Encourage the 20-20-20 rule: every 20 minutes, look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds. Apps like “Time Out” that remind kids to take breaks from screens can also be helpful.

7. How can I ensure my child isn’t using technology before bed?
Remove devices from their bedroom and have a family charging station in a different room. Avoid stimulating activities like video games before bedtime, and encourage relaxing activities like reading or listening to music.

8. How can we reduce our family’s overall screen time?
Plan screen-free activities like outdoor play, board games, or family walks. Find digital activities that can be done together, such as watching a movie or playing a family video game.

9. At what age should I give my child a smartphone?
There’s no fixed age, but 13 is often considered the starting point due to data privacy laws. Some parents wait until they are 16. It depends on the child’s maturity and readiness for the responsibilities that come with smartphone use.

10. Should I allow my child to use social media?
If you allow social media, have regular conversations with your children about their experiences, especially how it makes them feel. For younger children, avoid social media altogether; for older children, guide them on how to use it mindfully and positively.

References Mentioned:
This is a monthly newsletter from a psychologist who conducts research on how social media impacts mental health, especially for teenagers, and is also a professor at Brown University: https://technosapiens.substack.com/p/welcome

This website rates TV shows, movies, books, podcasts, apps, and YouTube channels based on their appropriateness for children and provides summaries of their content: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles 

Anya Kamenetz's website showcases her books and offers her Substack newsletter, The Golden Hour, which explores navigating modern challenges with a focus on finding calm, hope, and joy in areas like climate justice, mental health, and education: http://www.anyakamenetz.net/clicking/ 

Dejal Time Out is a productivity app designed to remind users to take regular breaks while using a computer, offering customizable "Normal" and "Micro" breaks to promote healthier work habits and reduce strain from prolonged sitting: https://www.dejal.com/timeout/

Recommended Reads:

Stolen Focus - Johann Hari 
The Anxious Generation - Jonathan Haidt 
The Art of Screen Time - Anya Kamenetz

Thank you to everyone who attended our webinar; we truly appreciate your participation and engagement, which enriches our community and fosters meaningful discussions. We encourage our community to join us for our next webinar in February, where we will continue to explore essential topics and share valuable insights to support your journey in fostering balanced habits, ultimately helping us all grow together in supporting our children's development.

https://bit.ly/4fsLjQ0 (downloadable PDF version)

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