Transcript:

Hello! My name is Kristin Kappelmann and I am the Elementary School Principal at Concordia International School Hanoi. We miss you all so much!

Home learning is different from learning at school, isn’t it? It’s different for kids and it’s different for parents. I want to give you three ideas that might help you. I will explain each in detail.

1. Behavior Communicates Inner Feelings

The first is: children’s behavior communicates their inner feelings.

Kids don’t say with words, “Oh, Wonderful mom, wonderful dad, please excuse me. I’m having difficulty in my daily life. I don’t understand what’s happening, I miss my friends, I’m afraid someone I know is going to get sick and it feels like life will never be normal again.” That would be nice if they were able to tell us what they were thinking and feeling!

Instead, children use their behavior to show us how they are feeling. In fact, children’s misbehavior is often a message to us that they are wrestling with feelings they don’t know how to deal with by themselves. When children are feeling upset, they can act younger than their age. 

They might throw tantrums, they become clingy and demand attention, sulk, might be disrespectful, refuse to cooperate, wet the bed, complain, cry, hide in the closet, get into fights with their brothers or sisters, or even forget how to do simple things.

These strange behaviors can be confusing and annoying to parents. However, these behaviors are common when children feel worried, unsettled, or unsafe. If you see any of these behaviors in your children, don’t worry, that’s pretty normal.

2. Children Need to Feel Safe

I have some advice on how to help you with my second point. The second point is: children need to feel safe before they are ready to cooperate or learn.

So, how can I make my child feel safe?

First: Make sure that as a parent, you are feeling calm. Your emotions can be contagious to children. If you are calm, it helps your child to feel calm. Be kind and patient with yourself.It is not easy to be both a parent and a teacher at the same time! As a mom or dad, take some deep breaths, listen to a favorite song, talk to a friend, pray or meditate. Turn off the news for a while. 

Forgive yourself when you make a mistake. When you are feeling calm. 

Next: Use reassuring words when your child is upset. Words like, “You’re safe. You can handle this. We’ll get through this together.” Also helpful is to name the emotion that an upset child might be feeling. When you name the feeling for them, you help them to recognize their problem. For example, when a child is whining you could help them by saying, “It seems like you are frustrated that the internet is so slow” or “It sounds like you are sad that you can’t play with your friend.” Giving a name to the emotion shrinks an overwhelming feeling to a more manageable size.

Patterns and routines help children feel safe. They love it when they can predict what will happen each day. Help them to wake up early each morning and get dressed in clothes for learning. Help them to have a simple-to-follow schedule that includes time to work, play, eat, and move.

3. Children Need to Feel Connected

The last point that I want to share with you is: children need to feel connected to others before they are ready to learn.

Children need to feel connected to their parents and family first, even before their friends. Build extra togetherness times into your day. For young children, this might be reading or playing legos together. For older children, it might be playing a favorite video game with you.

Notice whatever your child is doing and join in their play. Get down on the floor and play. Wrestle. Giggle. Snuggle. When they feel connected to you, it is easier to feel connected to their friends. The teachers at Concordia are helping to find ways for children to connect using Zoom, but you can also help your child Facetime or Skype with their friends. When a child doesn’t feel connected to others, it is very hard to concentrate or feel motivated to do school work. When a child feels connected, their mood is improved and they have more energy to learn.

 

In summary, remember the three big ideas:

Children’s behavior communicates their inner feelings. By helping children to feel safe and connected, we give them what they need to help them be ready to learn.

I hope these three ideas have been helpful to you! These ideas align with the philosophy of Concordia and come from Conscious Discipline.

Thank you for sharing your children with us at Concordia! We are available to help you as much as we can through this very challenging time. From the bottom of our hearts, we wish you well!